Hello everyone, Its Dr Caroline Lloyd. Welcome back to the EMDR doctor podcast.
Today I will be chatting about EMER in the perinatal period - mainly because I’ll be doing an online webinar next week for a group called Mum’s Matter - this is a new collaboration for me, with a lovely woman Frances Bilbao who runs a quite a large psychology group providing low cost therapy to Mums, focussing on the perinatal period. We have been chatting about working together and have come up with a series of Group EMDR sessions for their clients, which we will be rolling out in mid May, so I am going to be doing a bit of an education/question and answer session for Mums Matter next Monday at 7.30 pm (Melbourne time). If you would like to participate in it, please go to the website Mums Matter psychology.com and on the webinar page you will find it advertised. And if you would like to participate in the group emdr then just register there. So that will be great opportunity to experience online Group EMDR in a low cost, low commitment way, just three sessions, which can certainly be enough to shift some trauma and some distressing memories for those participants, so I am really looking forward to that!
So! The perinatal period. This period stretches from conception to about the first year postpartum. It covers getting pregnant, so includes fertility challenges, IVF experiences, pregnancy, birth, feeding challenges, getting the baby home, adjusting to all that goes with it. The hormone changes in the woman’s body are huge and sometimes debilitating. And socially, such a huge transition period in women’s lives, and mens too, that transition especially with the first baby coming along, is a huge shift from being independent and a couple, to what feels like the biggest responsibility in the world, this tiny little human being, completely dependent, and having what feels like absolutely no freedom. And that’s if all goes well.
I remember so clearly when I had my first baby, all those immaculate birth plans, all the misconceptions about pregnancy, birth, newborn babies all get dispelled very very quickly…
I actually remember saying to someone, that the baby would fit in with our lives, not the other way around. The person that I said that to was wise enough not to hysterically laugh at me at that moment, but that misconception was very short lived I must say. Thinking about it now, it feels like such a foolish thing to say, but if I am kind to myself, lets call it innocent or hopeful. The birth plan went out the window along with all my high faluting aspirations to be this amazing earth mother, the drugs, the epidural, the pain, all just demolished that plan. And then when I started attending Mothers group, I realised that I was a lucky one, that my labour and delivery had in fact been really fabulous with a great outcome. And I know that even saying this, I am one of the privileged ones, many women don’t get a chance to even have a birth plan, but so so often, there is such a gap between the idealised version, and what actually happens, that we are almost inevitably bound to have some sort of disappointment. And for some, the outcome is not a good one, and the situation changes to one of terror, desperation, and grief.
In such a high stakes environment, the emotions in that moment when big decisions happen, are huge. A lot rides on those moments, and there is often an sense of disempowerment, we are in the hands of our doctors or midwives, incapacitated and in pain. So it is really no wonder, that often, those adverse events become memories that are distressing, disturbing and disabling. I think perinatal PTSD is a very real and under recognised diagnosis. And new mums are too busy with the baby to be going off to psychologists, there may be other barriers like reduced income, lack of sleep, no free time, so accessing care is hard. And women just think, when the baby sleeps through then I’ll feel better. But I do really wish that young mums could get all the help they need, to be able to process those distressing events so they don’t need to carry them in to the future.
And without some effective therapy they do! They carry that trauma in to the future. They may find it hard to connect to the baby, difficult to trust that they are doing a good -enough job. They may really dread going back for a second baby. Fear of having the same awful experience may well impact on that decision. Very often there is this entrenched feeling of failure - I see this especially amongst women who have pre-term babies who spend time in humidicribs and NICU - they desperately want and need to connect to the baby and seeing the baby helpless and alone in their plastic humidicrib is so traumatic, and becomes really stuck with this sense of failure as a mother. Using EMDR to shift this, to unstick this memory and belief is very gratifying, and I really wish that all mothers of pure-term babies could access EMDR straight away - there is a lot of evidence that early intervention works well, shifts those images and beliefs and frees up the mother to be able to create the happiest family possible.
in addition to birth trauma, mums have often lost their pre- baby identity - they feel less competent, less valuable, less financially stable, when they don’t have work and all the rewards of work, they may actually be a little bit bored with being at home alone all day and attending to those essential day to day small activities of feeding changing, washing, settling. If all of these factors combine and you are at home all day alone sitting with feelings of failure and memories of trauma, having lost your identity and your peer support of work, this is really a recipe for post natal depression.
If this is you, please know that things can change, your life can be happier, the trauma can recede and you can believe in your self again.
For those women who are experiencing postnatal depression right now, just a quick list of things that could help, aside from EMDR, courtesy of the Mums Matter psychology group, may include these;
daily outside exercise (walking with the pram is great)
healthy foods with vegetables and proteins
prioritise sleep over cleaning or chores
talk to friends/family
check in with your doctor
connect with people, attend a mothers group or playgroup
seek specialised services like the Gidget Foundation or PANDA who are both focussed on supporting women with perinatal anxiety and depression.
And if you would like to explore the idea of EMDR for perinatal trauma or distress, come along to the webinar on Monday, register for it at mums matter psychology.com and I will see you there!
Thanks for being with me today, I will talk to you again next week. In the meantime, take good care. Bye for now.
